so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
