omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
