He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
