Whod you bang
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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