you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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