You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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