She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
