nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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