Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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