Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
