it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
