all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
