I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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