More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
