At least make sure they are 18
Why
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
