I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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