Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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