is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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