when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
