after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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