Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
