how can u be prego again
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
