Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
