I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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