Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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