How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
sex in a hospital.. check
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
