After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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