I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
