I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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