The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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