so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize