And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
