Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
