I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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