fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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