GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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