he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
