True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
