He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
