Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is Oprah even human
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
