I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
