I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We're too hungover to prance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
