It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
