So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i now understand why vodka
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize