You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
