My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize