new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
