Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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