I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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