Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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