its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
