I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize