I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
