you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
