Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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