Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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