I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's get the cat blown out
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
