Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
