remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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