i jhust puked up my retainher.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
