Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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