so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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