Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
