I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
