Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
