Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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