I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize