This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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