Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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