He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Someone signed my nipple.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize